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Post by dubldeac on Apr 25, 2015 7:25:14 GMT -5
Not offended at all. What I don't get is this distinction between the affair and hiring a hooker. As if one is more acceptable than the other. I just don't see the difference. You made a vow to forsake all others. Then you break that vow. I would argue an affair is worse because you (admittedly I'm assuming a lot here) are not only physically cheating but you're very likely cheating emotionally. Somehow I doubt this guy is in love with a prostitute. She's providing him a service; it's strictly a business transaction. Just like you pay some one to change your oil or mow your lawn or cut your hair. If you're having an affair you're presumably emotionally invested in that relationship which I would argue is a second level of betrayal of your marriage vows.
Disclaimer: I've never paid for sex in my life and found the idea abhorrent for most of my life. As I've gotten older and lived through a failing marriage I've become more sympathetic and empathetic to those men who make this sort of choice. I understand the reasons why better now. And I've also come to understand that emotional infidelity is as bad or worse in some ways as sexual/physical infidelity. I'm in the minority here with that view but its based on personal experience. And since I've had a change of view on the topic of paying for sex over the years, that's why I wrote the thing about walking a mile in his shoes. It's entirely conceivable that he loves his wife and his family but isn't having his sexual needs met within his marriage. He may not be willing to either engage in an emotional and physical relationship with another person nor is he willing to continue being celibate/unfulfilled. We all have our limits and maybe he reached his. I don't blame a starving man for eating. And in this case he's paying for his food.
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Post by Deleted on Apr 25, 2015 7:34:59 GMT -5
I'm having a hard time seeing how having an affair and getting a prostitute are the same. Am I misreading the story here. DD, I completely agree, but he should not be in his position if he is getting prostitutes. Now had it been that he was having an affair, I agree that it shouldn't be news. Why? Who gives a shit what two consenting adults do?
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Post by dubldeac on Apr 25, 2015 7:39:27 GMT -5
I'm having a hard time seeing how having an affair and getting a prostitute are the same. Am I misreading the story here. DD, I completely agree, but he should not be in his position if he is getting prostitutes. Now had it been that he was having an affair, I agree that it shouldn't be news. Why? Who gives a shit what two consenting adults do? ^^^^^THIS^^^^^^ a pithy way of saying what I was rambling on about "Brevity is the soul of wit."
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Post by NCBulldawg on Apr 25, 2015 8:46:35 GMT -5
Am I reading this correctly? Some of you are okay with a man having an affair on his wife and cheating on his family, but are disgusted by the fact a man had a moment with a prostitute? Interesting, if my comprehension is accurate. Just echo the thoughts by DD and notdpb on this.
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Post by bigdawgs on Apr 25, 2015 9:00:17 GMT -5
DD, I am not trying to be disrespectful in any way with my post, so please don't take it that way. Please let me know if it does offend you in any way as I do understand that personal accounts that happen in our lives drive passionate feelings on topics/situations. Your statement is not nearly as "offensive" as your damn avatar.
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Post by Bradimous1 on Apr 25, 2015 11:59:04 GMT -5
Am I reading this correctly? Some of you are okay with a man having an affair on his wife and cheating on his family, but are disgusted by the fact a man had a moment with a prostitute? Interesting, if my comprehension is accurate. Just echo the thoughts by DD and notdpb on this. Holy adding words to a post. Who said it was OK to cheat on ones wife? One is illegal and news worthy when you are on a college coaching staff and the other is absolutely morally wrong, but is a personal matter. Let's try not to put words into people's mouth's.
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Post by CFF on Apr 25, 2015 12:38:20 GMT -5
Am I reading this correctly? Some of you are okay with a man having an affair on his wife and cheating on his family, but are disgusted by the fact a man had a moment with a prostitute? Interesting, if my comprehension is accurate. Just echo the thoughts by DD and notdpb on this. Holy adding words to a post. Who said it was OK to cheat on ones wife? One is illegal and news worthy when you are on a college coaching staff and the other is absolutely morally wrong, but is a personal matter. Let's try not to put words into people's mouth's. Why would one be a personal matter and the other not? It isn't my business whether or not someone in another state buys a prostitute. Why do I have the need to know this information? BTW, cheating on your spouse is still illegal in 21 states. www.ksdk.com/story/news/nation/2014/04/17/in-which-states-is-cheating-on-your-spouse-illegal/7821223/
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Post by Bradimous1 on Apr 25, 2015 12:46:27 GMT -5
Holy adding words to a post. Who said it was OK to cheat on ones wife? One is illegal and news worthy when you are on a college coaching staff and the other is absolutely morally wrong, but is a personal matter. Let's try not to put words into people's mouth's. Why would one be a personal matter and the other not? It isn't my business whether or not someone in another state buys a prostitute. Why do I have the need to know this information? BTW, cheating on your spouse is still illegal in 21 states. www.ksdk.com/story/news/nation/2014/04/17/in-which-states-is-cheating-on-your-spouse-illegal/7821223/You don't "need" to know, but when you have a high profile job, that is what happens.
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Post by CFF on Apr 25, 2015 14:28:13 GMT -5
You don't "need" to know, but when you have a high profile job, that is what happens. I have a high profile job in my career field, does that mean that everyone in my career field needs to know my business? I don't think it does.
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Post by Bradimous1 on Apr 25, 2015 14:31:23 GMT -5
You don't "need" to know, but when you have a high profile job, that is what happens. I have a high profile job in my career field, does that mean that everyone in my career field needs to know my business? I don't think it does. I am not saying they should be, but the are.
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Post by bcsbbad on Apr 26, 2015 12:34:37 GMT -5
We live in a different world today...in many ways better...in other ways not so much.
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Post by Bradimous1 on Apr 26, 2015 13:27:59 GMT -5
We live in a different world today...in many ways better...in other ways not so much. Short, sweet and to the point
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Post by NCBulldawg on Apr 26, 2015 20:13:34 GMT -5
I might have painted too thick of a line between black and white, but my point, Brad, was it seems that some folks opined in a way that had me understanding that an affair is a little more tolerable, palpable than to having a "date" with a prostitute. That was my point.
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Post by Bradimous1 on Apr 27, 2015 7:42:11 GMT -5
I might have painted too thick of a line between black and white, but my point, Brad, was it seems that some folks opined in a way that had me understanding that an affair is a little more tolerable, palpable than to having a "date" with a prostitute. That was my point. Fair point... And from a legal aspect, I am one of those people.
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Post by CFF on Apr 28, 2015 13:39:10 GMT -5
I might have painted too thick of a line between black and white, but my point, Brad, was it seems that some folks opined in a way that had me understanding that an affair is a little more tolerable, palpable than to having a "date" with a prostitute. That was my point. Fair point... And from a legal aspect, I am one of those people. what if it was a legal prostitute an an illegal affair?
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Post by 75tranzam on Apr 28, 2015 14:54:01 GMT -5
I might have painted too thick of a line between black and white, but my point, Brad, was it seems that some folks opined in a way that had me understanding that an affair is a little more tolerable, palpable than to having a "date" with a prostitute. That was my point. Fair point... And from a legal aspect, I am one of those people. I agree with Brad.
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