Post by raleighrebel on Apr 14, 2009 18:51:03 GMT -5
Jose's thoughts on The School Whose Name Shall Not be Spoken Ch. Cuatro
Please forgive Jose for the failure to share his thoughts on a regular basis in recent days. He would like to blame it on general laziness, which is typically the case when he does nothing of any redeeming social value for a significant period of time. The simple fact is that he has been recuperating from a slight injury he sustained while trying to reenact Van Halen’s “Panama” video for a YouTube production that Jorge, Paco and he had in the works. That project has since been scrapped in favor of a dramatic retelling of the story of the Donner Party, from the perspective of the first guy that was eaten.
Tonight’s Governor’s Trophy game against The School Whose Name Shall not be Spoken (TSWNSNBS) offers Jose an opportunity to share his thoughts on one of his favorite subjects. There are probably some people who are thinking “Wasn’t this game formerly called the Mayor’s Trophy?” That is correct and Jose is not sure exactly why the name was changed but he believes it has something to do with the fact that the Mayor of Jackson started tearing down houses with his bare hands and comporting himself in a manner indistinguishable from Daniel Plainview in There Will be Blood.
Regarding TSWNSNBS, it has come to the point that Jose almost feels sorry for them. They have the 10th best baseball team in the Southeastern Conference (possibly 11th, pending the outcome of this weekend’s games); the one sport in which they have had at least some reason to boast historically. Their football team is set to continue its tradition of ineptitude in 2009. When the new coach is not busy searching for a cowbell app for his iPhone, he is preparing the masses for how bad things should be, months in advance of the season opener. A player was quoted after one of the early spring practices as saying, “It wasn’t a complete waste of time.” Jose begs to differ. It was a complete waste of time. Most of their players would be better served by joining the nearest “Up with People” troupe than attempting to line up against SEC opponents for the next few years. It is not going to be pretty. But this is really nothing new for their fans. TSWNSNBS has participated in thirteen bowl games in their 120+ year history of playing football. To put this in perspective, Jose has been forcibly removed from Christmas cantata’s on more occasions than that.
But Jose digresses. Tonight is about baseball. Of course this is a meaningless game as far as conference play goes, but if your team is 5-10 in league play and has been surpassed by your rival as the dominant in-state program, then you are probably working yourself into a lather right about now. Chances are, that should TSWNSNBS somehow manage a victory, you’ll see maroon “2009 Governor’s Cup Champs” t-shirts on sale in West Point by Thursday. The truly sad part is those shirts will likely still be worn in 2025 (to both weddings and job interviews).
John Cohen, the new baseball coach at TSWNSNBS, is obnoxious. Make no mistake, he despises Ole Miss, so should you happen to find yourself within earshot of Cohen at Trustmark Park tonight, please heckle the man on Jose’s behalf. You might inquire as to how it feels to have a direct hand in two of the three worst baseball teams in the conference. Or just ask if Ron Polk has accepted his Facebook friend request.
My name is Jose Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.
Please forgive Jose for the failure to share his thoughts on a regular basis in recent days. He would like to blame it on general laziness, which is typically the case when he does nothing of any redeeming social value for a significant period of time. The simple fact is that he has been recuperating from a slight injury he sustained while trying to reenact Van Halen’s “Panama” video for a YouTube production that Jorge, Paco and he had in the works. That project has since been scrapped in favor of a dramatic retelling of the story of the Donner Party, from the perspective of the first guy that was eaten.
Tonight’s Governor’s Trophy game against The School Whose Name Shall not be Spoken (TSWNSNBS) offers Jose an opportunity to share his thoughts on one of his favorite subjects. There are probably some people who are thinking “Wasn’t this game formerly called the Mayor’s Trophy?” That is correct and Jose is not sure exactly why the name was changed but he believes it has something to do with the fact that the Mayor of Jackson started tearing down houses with his bare hands and comporting himself in a manner indistinguishable from Daniel Plainview in There Will be Blood.
Regarding TSWNSNBS, it has come to the point that Jose almost feels sorry for them. They have the 10th best baseball team in the Southeastern Conference (possibly 11th, pending the outcome of this weekend’s games); the one sport in which they have had at least some reason to boast historically. Their football team is set to continue its tradition of ineptitude in 2009. When the new coach is not busy searching for a cowbell app for his iPhone, he is preparing the masses for how bad things should be, months in advance of the season opener. A player was quoted after one of the early spring practices as saying, “It wasn’t a complete waste of time.” Jose begs to differ. It was a complete waste of time. Most of their players would be better served by joining the nearest “Up with People” troupe than attempting to line up against SEC opponents for the next few years. It is not going to be pretty. But this is really nothing new for their fans. TSWNSNBS has participated in thirteen bowl games in their 120+ year history of playing football. To put this in perspective, Jose has been forcibly removed from Christmas cantata’s on more occasions than that.
But Jose digresses. Tonight is about baseball. Of course this is a meaningless game as far as conference play goes, but if your team is 5-10 in league play and has been surpassed by your rival as the dominant in-state program, then you are probably working yourself into a lather right about now. Chances are, that should TSWNSNBS somehow manage a victory, you’ll see maroon “2009 Governor’s Cup Champs” t-shirts on sale in West Point by Thursday. The truly sad part is those shirts will likely still be worn in 2025 (to both weddings and job interviews).
John Cohen, the new baseball coach at TSWNSNBS, is obnoxious. Make no mistake, he despises Ole Miss, so should you happen to find yourself within earshot of Cohen at Trustmark Park tonight, please heckle the man on Jose’s behalf. You might inquire as to how it feels to have a direct hand in two of the three worst baseball teams in the conference. Or just ask if Ron Polk has accepted his Facebook friend request.
My name is Jose Valdez IV and these are my thoughts.